It’s only Thursday. It’s not Friday, so my nerves shouldn’t be completely frazzled yet. It’s not Saturday – the day when all my sadly neglected chores from the week just gone are groaning at my from just beyond the early morning training session. It’s not Sunday – the day that I ponder the week just gone as I think to myself “where the hell did that week just go”, whilst at the same time ensuring that I am as prepared as I can be for the week looming before me. NO. It’s only Thursday. ONLY. I should by all means have at least a few stray nerves left. Something with which my sanity can grasp to in an attempt to avoid the stampede of my mind as it propels itself into the weeks end. ONLY Thursday. Famous last words I would say.
Stressed out chicken goes M.I.A. (Photo credit: Dave-F)
If you haven’t already guessed, I am in the middle of my own adult-style meltdown. No I can assure you that I am also not lying on the floor in a ball of tears and tantrums pounding my fists and screaming. Dont get me wrong, if there wasn’t that single cell of sanity tightly holding grip to me then I dare say it could have been a very different post, but I assure you I havent melted to that extent – yet. So what does one do when one has one’s own hot chocolate style meltdown? One runs away. Yes you heard it. I ran away! I’m glad my sanity had the good sense to ignore the rational thoughts of “running away isn’t the answer”, because today that is precisely the answer! Because today is ONLY Thursday, and I still have to keep that single cell of sanity alive and intact.
Alot of people – those who do and do not know me – look at me and think that my life is blissfully easy. I know this because they have either directly told me so, I have overheard it, or their behaviour or comments have said all that needs to be said. They think that my joy is something that comes easy. They think my schedule works because I obviously have a far easier life than theirs, and that I fit in what I do because I must have so much more time than them. They think my childrens’ behaviour and mannerisms are a direct product of luck and that at anytime in the future they are going to turn into the boy-obsessed, frivolous, attitude filled teenager that many others kids are. They think that being motivated and dedicated to my health and fitness is either easy, or luck, or totally obsessive. They think that my husband and I have the great relationship we have because we are lucky. Right? WRONG!
Let me tell you a little secret…shhhh dont tell anyone…my life isnt easy, nor is it luck, nor is it a direct outcome of magic, leprechauns or unicorns. I’m not a witch, a magician, or an illusionist. My life is in fact brutally real, just like everybody else. Lets look at joy. I’m not just naturally happy all of the time – that would be more an indication of too many happy pills don’t you think? The reality is that I make a conscious choice each and every day to emanate what I want my life to be. If you walk around with a permanent snarl on your face and in your voice, what good comes of it? None. Lets look at my schedule. Anyone who like me manages a career outside the home as well as managing home life, and anything above and beyond that knows exactly how I feel. Gone are the days for me to be a SAHM – oh yes I miss it. I miss being present at school for drop offs, pick ups, plays, special days and all the stuff in between. I miss doing dinner without trying to race the clock to bedtime because you don’t get home until late. However much I miss this stuff I also know that my career as a nurse gives something entirely different to my girls that they wouldnt otherwise get. My girls have seen within their own home from a very early age that we work for what we get in life, which by all accounts will be much harder for them by the time they reach my age.
They see that even mamma bears can have a successful career and a family, whilst showing them good work ethic and a role model for developing their own careers. When they are building their families it will certainly be far harder for them to be SAHM if they so desire – it is difficult to make that happen now. So I work hard at fitting in my career, my children, my husband, starting a business and preparing myself for that, my personal health and gitness, leisure time, friends and family…and it’s freaking hard! You have two choices in how to deal with this, you can not bother to try saying it’s all too hard or you can get real with your schedule. We watch very little television and the couch isn’t closely related to our butts.
Thanks Mr Stork for this well behaved child. (Photo credit: Mediocre2010)
Now when it comes to my children I am very passionate, it’s an area that people just shouldn’t mess with no matter how brave they are. I have never and will never subscribe to the idea that well behaved children are delivered that way by a stork. How utterly laughable. Sure enough some children are born with different temperaments and personalities but that is where the ‘luck’ ends. My children are the way they are because of the standards I set in place when they were wee little ones, probably even before they were born, and because of the consistency in which they are enforced and taught. Of course we have loads of fun, we laugh alot, but my girls know where they stand and there is no guessing. Imagine a hard core super nanny…hi nice to meet you! Now when it comes to health and fitness I get it. I really do understand out of personal experience, why/how it would be far easier to think that fit people just bounce out of bed in the morning, throw back a grapefruit with a smile, and run like the wind. Sorry to burst your bubble though because reality is that it’s more like me hauling my backside out of my nice warm cosy bed at some rediculous hour, kiss my husband and my sleeping babies goodbye, eat a banana or apple on the way out so I can huff and puff by guts out whilst feeling like a super sweaty hippo in pretty joggers as I run. But you do it because for once in your life you realise that you are in fact a grown adult capable of being the example to the children you want to live long enough to see grow up. Now look at my Mr Omni-Awesome. Well I will tell you like it is…marraige is hard! Terribly hard work! It is hard work to overcome the most horrendous obstacles. It’s hard work to stay strong when other people want nothing but to see your marraige fail. It’s hard work ever single day. But it is worth every tear, every sigh, every tough moment. We are open, honest, realistic, and dedicated to living an awesome life together and that is how we have a great marraige- however imperfect it is.
See – nothing is luck! We created this life we call bliss. Imperfect, irritating, hardworking bliss. Joyful, rewarding happy-ever-after bliss. Real, raw, honest bliss. Its not important to know why I had a meltdown – just that it is ok once in a while. How did I deal with it? As I said before, I ran away.
I ran away straight after school drop off to one of my favourite places on the Sunshine Coast – Lot 104 at Mooloolaba. They are a great “Lot” (pun totally intended because that’s how I roll) who look after me very well, not to mention I always feel very welcome and unhurried. I drank coffee, superb coffee. I at an entire MASSIVE hot breakfast all to myself. I drank hot chocolate for a little while with another run-away mum who sussed out where I was. I drank juice – fresh squeezed and totally delish. I listened to the roar of the ocean and the calming music playing overhead as I sit writing this. Now I will sit and read a book as I eat wedges with sour cream. Naughty I know – but what happens when I am M.I.A. stays M.I.A.
Lot 104 (Photo credit: Google images)
Although I had a meltdown today I am still purely and utterly in love with my bliss-filled life – because I choose to be.
And because today is ONLY Thursday.
Everybody Be AWESOME!!!
TAM – M.I.A. 🙂