Ferocious Honesty. Wholehearted Truth. Plucky Candour. This is where my values belong and have for some time, sometimes getting suffocated by my own need to be a pillar of kindness, selflessness, and ever pleasing for the benefit of others. It does me no good you know, this habit of being everything for everyone, nor does it do anyone else any good. Despite being in a profession that is built on the premise of kindness, selflessness, and the best outcomes for others, that premise is nothing but an old whisper of the past – one in which nurses lived in, walked the halls til their feet bled, and were married to their vocation of selfless caring. Certain things had their place in that time, not so in this age where nurses are both men and women, mothers and fathers, and clinical specialists in their own fields with mountainous responsibilities to match. I guess that old whisper has always had a place in my mind – until now.


For years I have been committed to everything and everyone but myself, myself has always been an afterthought and deep down I knew I would not be able to sustain it forever. At some point I was going to have to be self-caring, selfish, and put my needs first. I knew this because I say these same words to friends and colleagues who are in the same position, only not being courageous to take in on myself and stand firm in my own needs. That time is over, or will be soon as I take step by step in moulding my own life, my own career. This year I have embarked on so many things that threaten to take me out if I don’t heed my own words: research, a 2 year honours diploma, my certificate 4 in fitness, a new business centred around our long-term plan to move and work abroad, and for this my health has suffered with the lacking sleep and lacking time for my own physical fitness.

This year I have taken some steps to move away from things happening to me and into a place where things happen for me. Big difference. This move requires simple but somehow difficult steps. I’m still doing it no matter how hard the steps are. I was bold enough to ask my boss for one set day off each week so I could be mother to my two girls and be there one weekday day per week to do all those mummy chores – and I love those mummy things I really do, they will no longer be there for me to do much longer as my girls grow. I was worried that this was too big a request and that I would be denied, how wrong I was. I was granted this request with the complete understanding that I needed. I added to this my desire to work no more than 64 hours a fortnight unless I expressed the desire to on the odd occasion, or if it was dire to my workplace that I work up. That too has been put in place. I have a wonderful boss and whilst I trust and know that she looks out for her staffs’ best interests, I have a history of not feeling worthy enough – something I am really working on. It isn’t just my work life I have been working on – my physical health I have been too.

When I moved to the Sunshine Coast I had cancer, thyroid issues, chronic and severe allergy, serious and debilitating anxiety, complications from the cyst in my brain, and that was just the start of it. I was recommended by my GP a supplement I had shipped in from New Zealand that really made a big difference and I was able to stop all my prescribed medications, I gave up smoking, and lost a stack of weight. I was doing so well…until a fall at work and a slip on rocks at the beach left me with 2 fractures in my lower spine, nerve damage, and pain that is present even today. That really halted my training schedule and the weight began piling back on. Add to that a few trips to Europe and no desire to abstain from the local delicacies, a ton of self loathing about this, and I am far from where I was before. I am over the self loathing now, knowing that life happens to all of us and knowing that each day I have been doing my best just to stay afloat and keep moving forward. That said, I have also put in place changes to keep moving forward and climb the steep hill back to the fitness and wellbeing level I was at before – looming early menopause or not.


When beginning back with my fitness journey (ughhhh – hate that word now but cant think of another), I had to be realistic in the fact that I am typical Obliger personality – no matter how much I practise not being that. So in order to get into the habit of self commitment, I have to work with it instead of against it. So I have done the following:

· Enlisted hubby to prepare healthy vegetarian meals using our fabbo cookbook

· Encouraged the kids to start thinking of all the vegetarian foods they can eat for good health and energy – and pack/choose themselves

· Earlier to bed for a good sleep – still working on this

· Monday morning walks at 530am followed by an ocean swim (ok paddle), with a friend who is also an obliger personality – and sticking to this routine no matter how I feel (I can always walk a little slower and not as far if I feel shite), and I have successfully kept this routine even if my friend doesn’t come

· Catching myself in moments of stress and taking a few deep breaths

· Actively trying to let go of the hurts others have inflicted on both me and my loved ones – still working on this

· Beginning a fitness challenge lasting 12 weeks with my beautiful inlaws from across the ditch in NZ…to make it a bit fun

I know I have a way to go before I am back where I was and in a forward motion again, but I am feeling confident in my state of commitment to myself.



Am I stuck in protect mode? Probably. Protecting AGAINST what I don’t want instead of protecting what I DO want. I feel like a suited up gladiator ready to strike – until now. Now I get what’s been going on in my head I can start to pull apart and create my own picture. When we let (it) go of the need to fix and embrace the idea of create….we lose the struggle component.

I need to move away from the stressaholic experience. I work I work I work, I parent I parent I parent. Instead however I now want to experience my trade, my passion. Now I want to experience my parenting moments. Now I want to experience my relationships, choices and life in all it’s glorious complexities. Treat life like a true lifestyle change…don’t remove anything….just keep adding in what you want, add in so much good that there is no room left for anything else.

Firstly I need to drop the fear of retribution from the medical community, not only for myself but for what I have to offer the world of myself. For what I have to teach my daughters about taking chances and making their passions a reality. If I cannot live my passion of wholistic healthcare for all in my nursing role then why should I spend the next 40 years being miserable? There is absolutely no need to become a martyr for my trade, there are plenty out there that relish that mindset and that’s okay – for them not me. Why wouldnt I create what I want instead? After all I am a creative being and know that creativity is the seed of great innovation and change. If I am to start living the life I want and envisage then I need to be mindful that I don’t get stuck by a title. Like Juliet says about her Romeo – what’s in a name? I need to begin living my life like it is one big love story with myself.

Do you process stuff quickly or a you a slow metaboliser before you produce a response or an action? I feel like the latter in this instance but I can see that it’s all about perfect timing. So I’m going to add in stuff…


– nourishing actions with nutrition
– activity I enjoy and that makes me happy
– thoughts that are real not imagined, uplifting thoughts
– time with people who I am most inspired by
– work that is aligned with my values

What could you ADD to your life to make you feel awesome…



As 2014 looms closer so does the little gremlins in your head telling you that you should set some New Years Resolutions. How do I know this? Because I hear them every year at this time too, nagging me to make haste in ensuring that in 2014 I become healthier, wealthier and wiser. This isn’t such a bad thing, in fact it is good to have something to work towards, something to aspire to. However it’s important that you are not attaching the wrong emotions to it.

Each year when we take stock of our lives in anticipation for the turning of the calendar, many people tend to get caught up in the negative emotions of regret. ‘I didn’t lose all the weight I had hoped’ ‘I didn’t save enough money’ ‘I’m still not married’ ‘I’m still unhappy with my job’. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, this is familiar to many people. We forget sometimes to be thankful for what we have and the person we are…that person is important, and worthy, and loveable. Does that mean we shouldn’t aim for something different? No. But if you want to head into 2014 toward some new goals or even to revisit some old one, just be aware of your motives to ensure that they are true to your values and your core self. For some insight into this head over and check out Emazon – her vlogs, posts and courses can empower you to transform the way you look at yourself – it was certainly a catalyst for major changes in my thinking.

So what if changing your lifestyle is something you truly want to do for yourself? Then that’s great too. It’s important for us to nourish our whole selves physically, emotionally Nd spiritually for total life balance, however it’s easier said than done right? Yep, I get it because I have been there, and whilst I know I am going to be completing my Cert III & IV in Fitness in the new year, I am not quite ready to offer that service on the coast yet. Never fear though, there are some fabulous Personal Trainers that can help you with your new year goals whatever they may be at whatever place you may be in your life and I’m going to give you a heads up on some that I know of. These are for the Sunshine Coast in Queensland Australia but if you google or search facebook you can generally find some in your area – sometimes we need that helping hand to get you started…I know I did.
(N.B. No financial affiliation to any services mentioned here and you access them at your own discretion)


Melinda and her staff can meet your personal training and fitness needs with both one on one and group training, challenges, and something a little different – they offer adventures in a kayak, up a mountain and working out your mind fitness ‘stuff’. Varied times and days to fit your schedule.


Marcus does one on one and group training options to suit your needs. His boxing sessions are especially popular and as easy or hard as you make them.


Sammy and her staff can help you with all your needs through pre and post natal exercise, group sessions, challenges or one on one sessions. Multiple times to fit into your busy schedule.


Susan and her team can help you find fitness with group and personal training, but can also show you through surfing and SUPing. Varied options for your needs.

So go on – if you want to make a change and know that a gym membership isn’t quite what you want then check out these personal trainers or more nearest you. Often times they will have a free trial so really there is nothing to lose, just health to gain. And if you know some good ones in other areas give them a shout out below in the comments.




I learnt a lesson today. You can’t put your children in a box. And apart from the literal meaning having an outcome involving a long prison sentence -because no I don’t actually mean a real life box silly!!! I mean you can’t ever think your child is set in their ways…they are far more flexible and fluid than us adults. Because if you do they will almost certainly prove you wrong.

Case in point: Miss 6 is quite adventurous but when it comes to new experiences she is a bit of a stick in the mud and very hesitant and easily spoiled – WRONG!!! Little Miss 6 decided to live outside her comfort zone today and climbed the rock wall at Anaconda (never done this before), and had a blast!!! She didn’t want to get off!!!

So lesson learnt…just when you think you have figured your kids out….they go and prove you wrong in the most beautiful ways. Everybody Be Your Own Style of AWESOME!!! TAM 🙂


My girls are the loves of my life.

My girls are the loves of my life.

When I woke this morning I had a sense today was different. Kind of odd in a way you cannot articulate. I have these days of unease sometimes – but most of the time it will just happen that I will get a call that something is wrong with a loved one or friend, or I will find out something is wrong with a client. I dont know how but I just sense these things and one day I will go into futher details about this but for now I have a purpose to this post. Because this morning I woke, dressed for an expected long day at work, had breakfast, had some short but quality moments laughing with my husband and kids, and did some mamma bear stuff for the kidlets. Little did I know…..

So I start driving to work when I hear a comment or too, as vague as they were, about the Boston Marathon. As I drive to work I think to myself…yeah I still really want to do that Marathon – the gold standard of Marathons, that would just be awesome for Mr O-A and I to do together. Then I get to work and I hear the news and see it on the television playing in the surrounding area. “Bombs explode at finish line of Boston Marathon”. Oh dear and there it is…the sinking horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, I just knew this morning that something sad or horrible had occured I just had to wait to find out what. How devastating, and sad, and frustrating, and horrible, and, well, how do you describe such a horrible thing. Then I see the captions at the bottom of the screen….”8yo child dies waiting for father to finish”….like a dagger in my gut – that poor kid. Cheering at the finish line. Eyes full of sparkling anticipation for his dad, his hero. Heart bursting with admiration for the most amazing man in his life. Mind overflowing with how he will one day grow up to be just as great. Boy oh boy how sad. Terribly terribly sad.

So my next post was going to be about how little ones are growing up so fast and how society seems to almost think its cute that these little ones are like mini-me’s, but I think that for today I am just going to talk about how precious our wee ones are. Because I am certain that when that little ones family awoke they certainly didnt realise what the day would hold for them. Again how sad.

Wee ones are special. I dont just mean special to their mothers and fathers. I mean really really special. To us, to society, to the future, to everyone. Wee ones hold within them that purity and innocence that we as a society should protect. But they also hold within them such amazing knowledge, and wisdom, and insight, that we tend to lose in our adult years. They seem to have an intuition and way of understanding that far surpasses what we give them credit for in their young years. We come to think as adults that although precious, these wee ones just dont have the ability to “get it” and thus we tend to coat real life, and hide from them the real world and their natural ability to figure it out.

My Two Miss's

My Two Miss’s

Each wee one is so totally special and unique, with something fantastic to offer the world. Which I guess is why I dont understand how people cannot appreciate their own children especially when they are young. For me, I really do cherish every moment with my girls, because they are not only my life but my reason for breathing each day, the reason I have acheived what I have, and the reason I have overcome the obstacles in my life. I see my children as my catalyst. They inspire me each day to be better and more awesome. For instance my girls have recently decided to go dairy free, all of their own accord, because they have learnt what happens in the current dairy industry. Understand that this is their choice, and as loving parents we are happy to support whatever they feel is their STAND in life, we will accomodate whatever they need to do this, as a family. As well as this my girls spend time in aged care facilities, and love every minute of it. They love nothing more that to spend time with the “grammas and grappas” (as Macca Moo calls them), and truly do respect that generation and all the valuable things they can teach them. They approach them with love, respect and understanding of their frailty. This does make me a very proud mamma.

What I dont understand also is how any sister, aunt, uncle, or other can fail to recognise this unique and special impact these wee ones have in our lives, and how what they do or dont do can tear that apart. I guess the girls are just blessed that I am like a bulldog and willing to fight for them even when everyone around us thinks I am being unfair.

Love my girl

Love my girl

Today in light of this tragedy, and despite that we think and feel this everyday – we hug our children and loved ones just a little bit tighter. We look straight into our wee ones eyes and tell her how much we love her. We hold our almost-teen and tell her how important and amazing she is to us and how much we love her.

We send our granddaughter and her mum and dad thoughts and prayers of love just as we do every other day. And we remember just how fleeting life is, and how you may not get a tomorrow to say you are sorry and to make things right with wee little ones. And then we thank God for taking care of us no matter what happens, and realise that the sun will rise tomorrow. We remember that lives will go on tomorrow, just as they already have. But we dont forget for one second that little boy waiting at a different finish line now for his mum and dad.Love and light to all who have been affected by this terrible thing.

Everybody Send AWESOME to Boston!!!



Are you grumpy - or just happiness challenge. (Credit: google images)

Are you grumpy – or just happiness challenge. (Credit: google images)

Anyone who is anyone (ok, ok, anyone of facebook) has heard of, or seen “The Grumpy Cat“. In fact I think if you look at Grumpy Cats face you can almost see that one person in your life that continuously resembles this delightful *ahem* bundle of joy – and yes probably resembles the rest of us when we are at our worse, but thats all I’m admitting to!

The reason I am thinking about Grumpy Cat is entirely opposite to the thought bubble you have in your head right now but I wanted you to have an opposite point of reference. My real reason for this post is to share the exciting and amazing movie/doco that I saw on Friday night at our local university, and presented by Red Day Coaching before the rest of the world gets to see it. The movie I am talking about is called “HAPPY” I for one am entirely excited that I went.  I almost didnt go however, because I had ordered the tickets a while ago after my luncheon with Rachael Bermingham when she shared this great opportunity. So with my overloaded mother/wife/friend/nurse brain on, and still barely being able to function with a full on week of work and a healing tooth extraction – I had forgotten entirely that this screening was coming up. So when I got a text message from Red Day Coaching to remind me – I just thought what the hell! Mr Omni-Awesome was going to be at work until late so Miss Macca Moo and I had mamma and me time to do something together…and I managed to gather a few colleagues and friends to come too.

So basically, the HAPPY movie explored the infinite facets of happiness. It explored the views and experiences of people from all around the world from almost every walk of life (I really dislike that term, but at 230am in the morning – and the only time I have uninterupted quiet on school holidays – its all I could think of…but I digress) in relation to what happiness is and means to them. Interestingly it was those that had the least, or had endured the most, that were the happiest and seemingly had this happiness thing truly figured out. It appeared to just “be” with those people, which as a cancer victor and a “life happens” victor (I think I prefer to be victorious rather than just surviving), I really do get it. It is because of my life experiences and experience as a nurse that I can look at my own obstacles and still remain happy because there is so much in life to be greatful and truly happy about.

The movie totally ripped open the scientific truth of happiness as a relevant and proven method of improving life and wellness outcomes. Who says its illegal to take drugs? Give me some natural dopamine anyday! And boy did I hear nervous giggles of knowing from my dear dear friends sitting beside me when the comment arose in the movie that aerobic exercise was one of those things that increased this release of happy drug in our bodies (not to be confused with happy meals, I dont think McDonalds have natural dopamine in their *ahem* food). The science of happiness and all things happy and natural have really interested me since probably before my university training. But I remember focussing on these topics in an assignment/presentation on CAM therapies – complementary alternative therapies. But surprisingly what came through in the literature above CAMs such as acupuncture etc, was activities such as prayer, strong family connections, basically any activities that provided true joy and leave of worry for an individual.  And furthermore health providers are now being encouraged to provide strengths based approaches to the provision of care – meaning utilising the skills people innately have already. As was highlighted in this film by the Dalai Lama we are born with compassion in our blood, we have it our entire lives. So how can it be that we as a society has lost out compassion, how is it that we have lost our happiness?

It is highly devastating that society (much in the western world) is so caught up with being “super-sized successful”, “super-sized rich”, “super-sized everything”, that we have forgotten what we have right in front of us – HAPPY! JOY! LOVE! Instead we are teetering on the edge of KAROSHI – which in Australia can be termed “work yourself to death”. Yes, its a simple as that. This documentary brought to light something I had never even heard existed yet it is not only prevalent, it is something the Japanese are concerned about much of the time. And unless we start recognising that this method of working like a trojan is not working for us and is certainly not the type of world or legacy we want to leave to our children or grandchildren, then it bothers me that we are headed the same way.

So what do we do? Well this wonderful documentary showed a prime example of what we *should* be focussed on. You see in Bhutan, they have begun focussing on, measuring, and recognising the importance not of a gross national profit, but their gross national happiness. I am so excited about this because it means that somewhere in the world people are starting to focus on what is important. When everything is looked at simply there is one thing that YOU can do and that I can do to make the world change domino style – by making an individual choice each and every day to be happy, to do things that make you happy, to do things that make another happy, to chase your bliss. Happiness is like a really cool and awesome disease – so go out and spread that stuff everywhere!

Most people who know me know that I am sickeningly happy 99% of the time (unless you are withholding chocolate or telling me Im not allowed to go for my run, and then the only thing you will be worrying about is whether your legs are faster than mine!), and although I got it already and am working within my current job as a Nurse to implement FISH! Philosophy – there is always room to grown and learn. Let me say that when this movie comes out I will have the universe attending.

Unfortunately all pre screenings of HAPPY is finished but I hear that the movie will be released later in the year so stay tuned and I will update you all with details as they come through, so dont forget to follow me here or on facebook. And head over to Red Day Coaching for resources, coaching and business guidance. They have great vision and I will certainly be following them closely, awaiting the release of a program for teens – because personally I would like to get through my daughters teenage years with a few less than expected grey hairs, and just a snippet of my sanity.

Dont hold the HAPPY in - it could be dangerous! (Credit: google images)

Dont hold the HAPPY in – it could be dangerous! (Credit: google images)

So what makes you happy and why? How do you create your own happy each day? Share your stories and experiences of happy. Let us all in on your happy tips. Everybody Be AWESOMELY HAPPY!!! TAM 🙂 Ps. Head over to my facebook page My Infinite Balance, click like and join in the poll about being happy



Last year I made a commitment to do a “peak a week”. Well most of the time anyhow. Since then though I have been having a little trouble with the whole staying vertical thing and cant help but to face plant at every turn…literally. So with all the injuries I have had it has put a little dampener not only on my training schedule, but my vision to do a Peak a Week in my down time.

I love climbing mountains, no matter how big or how small. And whilst the big ones are a huge struggle, they also tend to push you further than what you would have pushed yourself on flat land, and leave you with a huge sense of accomplishment. In turn you also get the priveledge of stunning views, crisp and fresh mountain air, and because of where I live I also get the most amazing views of the entire coastline. Kind of feels a little like a slice of blissful heaven in under an hour. It can be as challenging as you make it also and as a family it brings you closer as you help each other navigate over boulders, tree roots and dusty pebbles. You watch out for each other – which I truly believe is currently lacking in society these days. There is a kind of comradery (?spell check…pfft!), that is unique to regular climbers (much similar to that which is amongst runners).

So I took my very big dose of concrete last weekend and started my “peak a week” again with Mt Coolum despite my fear that I was going to fall or slip and snap the rest of my spine in half. This week being Easter I have decided to do a much smaller one that will give us the benefit of watching the sunset. If you are on Australia’s Sunshine Coast and want to come check out Mt Tinbeerwah with a group of lovely others head over to my facebook page and check out the event for Peak a Week #2.

What mountains bring your soul peace or a sense of accomplishment?

Everybody Be AWESOME!!!

TAM 🙂Image



Hey everyone,

I love connecting with you all on here, thankyou for taking the time to visit and read my blog. Connect with me on twitter also – either follow the link and connect with me there or head to @SunnyCMIB on Twitter. See you there!



Everybody Be AWESOME!!!





Wow…chocolate made from coconut oil, agave nectar and cocoa powder….love love love


MY JOURNEY, Uncategorized
Oh dear!!! I bought a dress - with a frill!

Oh dear!!! I bought a dress – with a frill!

Lucky for my friend Sarah – she drove me to pick up a dress. It was chosen by the gaggle of girls I had in tow – my two girls and her three girls (not forgetting wee Mr J in the pram they also pushed around for me). Which was awesome because I certainly would not have picked a dress like this, so it was kinda like having miniature personal shoppers carrying my stuff for me and giving me fashionista advice – and good for my fellow mummy Sarah because she got to have an entire hair cut in peace for the first time in a while. Now I didnt have to wear the workout gear that seems to only grace my drawers these days.

Why is this lucky? Because on Friday I attended Rachael Berminghams Saavy Luncheon with her and my sister-in-law. I knew it was a stretch considering I had two fractures in my lower spine from Sundays frollicks – but I wasnt about to give up on something that I had already booked, paid for, and knew I needed to be at. It appears that the two women I went with had forces working against them too as one had been unwell and the other had a last minute vomitting child. So if I had to stand for a while then that is what I would do, I managed it for a staff meeting the day before so I could do it again. Frankly, being stuck in the house layed up doing nothing was doing my head in, and I could recognise the need to avert a potentially catastrophic crazy episode ha ha.

Rachael Bermingham – a mother, author, publisher, mentor, public speaker, and all round phenominal woman. She is the author of the 4 Ingredients book, the Savvy book, and many others. Read about her here:!/RachaelBermingham.LIVE?fref=ts

I own and have read her Savvy book and it has been instrumental in giving me the boost not only to push into my goals further, but to question them, think about them, throw them around a bit and question them some more. Not just that, but to start planning and implementing for these goals.

I went to this luncheon however to get a bit of a jumpstart back to what I had become sidetracked from. The goals I know are big, but ones that I am passionate about. What I recieved was more than I had expected. I had a wonderful day with like minded women drinking yummy wine, and eating totally delish food at The 4th Floor Restaurant in Mooloolaba on the Sunshine Coast .  I networked, made new friends, but mostly I came out of this luncheon feeling much more fired up about actually nailing my goals and felt it gave me a decent kick in the pants I needed. I was able to finally give up the ghost on feeling guilty about decluttering my life in terms of friendships, relationships, and time wasting activities. It made me feel more at ease about chasing after my goals regarding further education and building my own business, not to mention tackling the few books I have outlines for that I want to write – but have not commited to.

My friend and my sister in law x

My friend and my sister in law x

I was blessed to attend this luncheon with two other amazing women I care about and I know that they both got a great deal out of this time with Rachael too. And meeting Rachael was like meeting a firecracker of a woman with the tenacity that we sometimes smother with our everyday hangups.


My amazing sister in law is one of my mentors even though she probably doesnt really understand why. But she is smart, switched on, emotionally intelligent and savvy in her own right and I know that her and I tend to think on the same page. I am sure that all three of us will have many more catchups that are equally as motivating in the near future.


What an exciting time this year is going to be for me and my family. What a confronting year this will be for my clutter. I am sure not all of my decluttering will enthuse everyone, but it is neccessary to be surrounded by what you want to become, not what you dont want to become. Like attracts like and all that jazz.

Thankyou Rachael for your contribution to my “YEAR OF AWESOME”.

Random quote pulled out of a box by me at the function:

“To start a business you need an idea that not only excites you, but also excites at least 80% of the market – then you’ll have the foundation for not just a business but an empire” – Rachael Bermingham.

Oh how true. And how fitting for where my head was at. And how exciting!


Everybody Be AWEOSME!!!