Wouldn’t life be easy if we could just say ‘fuck it’, and do shit anyway? After all, doesn’t the greatest happenings in life occur when we throw caution to the wind, give fear the bird, and step courageously into the infinite possibilities that are before us? What can you see when you look at the could haves, the could bes, and the could dos in life, if only you had grappled and taken hold of the mere 30 seconds of guts it takes to say ‘fuck it’?
I guess I’m asking these questions mostly of myself recently for so many reasons. Like so many of us women heading over to the latter side of their 30’s, we are for the first time really able to define exactly who we are and what we want out of life (although in saying that I can remember back in my 20’s thinking I had all it all figured out too so I might be eating my own words in my next decade here!). One thing I do know is that since becoming a mother, my life is not just about me anymore but about the two beautiful daughters I have been honoured with and as such this means that I must be that guiding light for them to follow. Woah! Big job, big shoes – size 11 in fact!
Asking these questions of myself has prompted me to get jiggy with the realities of life, and has made me challenge every belief, every value, and every action I have taken and will take in the future. I’m cool with that though because “if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you” – and deep down we all really want life to change and be exciting (could you imagine watching the same episode of a show over and over again? Think that song at the start of the movie Groundhog Day…annoying right?).
So I am learning a lot about Que Sera, and learning a lot about saying what will be, will be. I am learning the value of being guided by creating life rather than being fearful of it, including learning from situations that previously have all but paralysed me emotionally resulting in some significant collateral damage that could have been avoided with using a different tact. Understand that I don’t regret even one of my decisions along the way because they were right for me at those times in those situations.
Que Sera is not about frivolity for me though, I won’t be doing a vegas trip, joining a commune, or jumping out of a plane with no parachute. Que Sera for me has come with a healthy dose of self reflection. Talk about mirror mirror – but that’s for another time. How about some self disclosure of exactly how I have been practising the art of Que Sera lately.
!!!TURNING MY ENTIRE LIFE UPSIDE-FREAKING-DOWN!!!
NO HOUSE! –YET…
For the past four years since moving to the Sunshine Coast we have lived in a 2.5 bedroom unit. Sounds alright except it wasn’t until after we had moved in that we found out that in fact it was designed mostly for over 50’s – wonder if the other younger families also didn’t realise that until it was too late! We accepted however that the situation was right for us for a short time and made the most of it, next you know four years has flown by and our kids are outgrowing such a small place. So we put in our notice and put all our belongings into storage whilst we house sat for 4 weeks for a friend and colleague of mine (again that whole adventure is for another time), on over 9 acres of beautiful land.
That part of the adventure is up now and we are winging it in a holiday unit 20 seconds walk from Sunshine Coasts Moololaba Beach – tough life huh – but we are now without a permanent home until the right one is presented to us.
Admittedly it has taught us how to live without excessive amounts of ‘stuff’, and the girls and us have coped quite well.
I QUIT MY JOB! – AND GOT ANOTHER…
After 4 years in aged care nursing I knew that my time was up when I felt like crying every shift, which was insane because I loved what I did, worked for an amazing company, achieved great things, and had beautiful colleagues and clients. However the masses of government budget cuts and policy changes meant we were doing more work in an already stretched day and it took its toll on myself and my family…and when my then 7 year old daughter said mummy we miss you because you are always working (even at home), I knew that it was time to leave and go back into acute nursing. Im loving it really and was blessed to get a position in an amazing hospital – I am supported, appreciated, cherished, and encouraged to pursue my dreams. Im happy and loving the challenges.
I’M WRITING A BOOK! – NO REALLY I AM…
I haven’t always wanted to be a nurse. When I was young I wanted to be an author, and I was so good at writing that I got to go to specialist camps and won awards at school…then life happened. I am back on track with it though and am now in the process of writing a book…a nursing book along the lines of 50 shades of poop (kidding). I have had this vision for this book for nurses for quite some time and was given a voucher from my beautiful husband and children, for a 1 on 1 session with an author coach Alex Mitchell. I have had it (it was more enlightening and wonderful than I had expected), and am so excited for what comes next – stay tuned!
So now I am getting what I look for (read E2 and you will understand), and I am determined to see my life fulfilling, real and raw, connected, and worthy of a legacy I want to leave my children. I can guarantee it wont be all bunny rabbits and chocolate fondue but I do know this to be true –
‘LIFE IS SIMPLY A SERIES OF EXPERIENCES DESIGNED TO BE LESSONS FOR OUR GREATER GOOD’ – Tammy Pluck