AHA MOMENTS SUCK

Well I did it. We went on holidays and spent time with my Dad and his wife, and we all bonded and got to know each other. My children were smitten with their gran and pop and some beautiful memories were made and will continue to be made – and I’ve given p my horrid step-daughter ways.

What have you gotten raw and real with recently.

Tailored Living Project

Have you ever felt like telling an aha moment to jump off a cliff or stick it? I have, and well I’m a bit cranky with said aha moment for being such a pain in the butt. I think I have had enough aha moments to fill a lifetime and frankly I’m over it! Yep I’m having a dummy spit because this whole self awareness gig just sucks lemons.

I’ve been struggling with an issue for a while now with no clue as to what brought it on. I was nice. I was fair. I really wanted our unit to really work. I gave chances. I’ve even forgiven. However it appears that the issue did not lie with this situation but simply the reverse…I was a wicked step daughter!!! Noooo waaayyy! It was in front of my face the whole time.

I don’t see this as airing dirty laundry, I…

View original post 906 more words

Advertisements

THE INTRICACIES OF LIFE

20140803-091757.jpg

Their hearts scream for mercy as it gets torn and ripped, from the tough decisions they have had to make as parents. They never understood why life’s intricacies were created to be beautiful at one point and cruel at another. It was as if at this crossroad, the decision they made was going to be the catalyst for everything that would follow. The decision had to be made though. If it was left, there would always be questions, a false hope for something that in 10 years had never come to pass and was likely not to ever come to pass. If they decided for it, there would be endless moments filled with pain, unacceptance, and degradation of others worth, not to mention the gradual dessimation of the life they were happy in. So the only decision that fit was one that he alone had to make, she couldn’t be within this part of his journey, only able to sit with him in those difficult moments.

Now that the decision had been made, they had to move forward without those few missing pieces they were likely never to recover. The last few years had aged them, carving lines in their faces that held the sorrows and the pain, but also the tremendous growth they had experienced during those countless tears. These years had brought them to the brink of goodbye only to hold them at that snapping point long enough to allow them to snap back together. This last time however had actually pulled to hard and the forces that held them together had worn through, leaving only a few bare threads that kept them connected. Those threads would be enough for now, but it was necessary to begin weaving something stronger for the future that would be unwavered by external forces.

They had always been happy, always been the family that people looked at and thought was unbreakable. But no one gave thought to the ties from within that might seek to sever their joy. Not everyone will see the necessity for this decision he had made, but that was unimportant because he too was deserving of happiness and joy in his life. Sometimes you have to stand up and claim what’s yours because life isn’t a dress rehearsal.

Little did they know how important it was to protect their little unit and the love that was in it. Little did they know that they would need to draw on each others strengths in the face of mortality. The years of silence and trying to never rock the boat had taken its toll on his wellbeing. A life time of feeling like he wasn’t enough had now decimated the very thing that was central to life in his core. It was now that they needed to focus on their inner circle. It was now that she would need to take up the matriarchal role that will surround and encompass him in love, security and surety that he wouldn’t be alone no matter what the final outcome would be. They cross fingers, pray, and meditate for an outcome that will see them grow old together like they had promised each other. All she knew is that she wasn’t ready to be without him, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye, and they wouldn’t without a fight.

20140803-091950.jpg