Here we are again – the REAR END (sorry, couldn’t resist the title ha!) of another year and the cornerstone of a new one just hiding around the corner ready to pounce on us like a tiger on its prey. Okay I know that sounds terribly foreboding but this time of year seems to just come from nowhere, even though we are aware of it creeping ever so slowly until it is gleaming its teeth in front of our face waiting for our next move. So it seems fit as it does each year to take stock of what has been so reflective growth can occur and the slate that was the year passed can be washed clean ready for what lies ahead. I do feel that by doing this you are more able to look forward with anticipation, passion and excitement, rather than tentative uncertainty. So what has 2013 held for me?
The year that was has been a year of significant and rapid growth for both me and my little unit. I have learnt so much about myself this year that it was almost to confronting to deal with. What did I learn???
* STRENGTH – I learnt that I have incredible inner strength. Some would say that it’s stubborn resolve after I refused to call an ambulance to get rescued of the outer rocks at Point Cartwright when I fractured my spine early in the year, instead choosing to drag my butt away from the incoming tide all by myself. However I do believe that the way I dealt with the situation and the loss of ability to do some of the things I wanted to do not only highlighted this strength but grew it some too.
* SELF RESPECT – I learnt that in fact i am more than enough, I’m abso-freakin-lutely awesome! Despite years of self sabotage, poor body image and never feeling quite good enough in general, I have come to a realisation that those beliefs are a result of years and years of conditioning by all the things I ALLOWED to influence me throughout my life. It was only when the message clicked deep within that I’m the creator of my world both internal and external, that I began to truly respect the person that is me. In fact one lightbulb moment occurred durning my adventure trip to overcome my fear of deep water (a work in process let me say), where a photo needed to be taken in a hurry and the beautiful Mel from MAB PT & ADVENTURES saw my hesitation and promptly flicked on the switch saying something like….you look great, embrace what you have….and BAM! The inside of my brain has been like a Beacon Lighting store at night! Again that adventure deserves a post of its own.
* WORTHINESS & VULNERABILITY – I have learnt the true meaning of worthiness and its significance I leading an extraordinary life. It’s certainly a work in progress that’s for certain, but I’m getting better at it and holding onto it as I live more and more wholeheartedly. I now have a deeper grasp on the truth that the way other people behave, react, respond or interact really has almost nothing to do with me (exception of course if I’m being an ass hat), and everything to do with where they are on their journey. This has been a tough lesson to accept for someone who was so great at beating herself up she could have defeated Ali! But this lesson in worthiness has not come without truly understanding vulnerability and embracing it. At this point I old like to thank Brene Brown and her book Daring Greatly for the slap in the face this lesson/experience has been! I say this sarcastically with tongue in cheek of course, because despite how many tears I’ve shed and how painful the realisations have been, I know that I am stepping into a deeper way of living because of it. I’m learning to dare greatly in all that I do, stepping out courageously from the shadows and fears I have been living in for all these years.
I know there have been so many more lessons, but I think you get the general flow of the growth we have achieved this year. In fact I really don’t feel the need anymore to go into too much detail because I’m far too excited to sit and plan what my year is going to be like in 2014.
I am grateful for the following however…new people I’ve met, the lessons I have learned, the good and the not so good, the opportunities, the opened doors, the closed doors, the leaping off cliffs, the sad moments, the happy moment, fears overcome, demons faced, the truths revealed, and the ability to create my reality. Most of all I am grateful that individually and as a family, we are moving forward, not stuck in our old realities for comforts sake.
So back to you…what has come out of 2013 for you????? Feel free to link to your years wrap up…
And stay tuned as I reveal the road ahead…