THE ZEN PATH

I’ve been quite secretive lately. No not secretive – scrap that word because it sends a subconscious message of deception – I really detest that word. Okay, I’ve been selective with the entirety of what I have shared in the past six or so months. For anyone who has read this blog in the past few posts however it would appear I’m over that. Ha! In all seriousness though I have been struggling to really pinpoint the exact path my future was going to take. That hasn’t changed though, I’ve just come to a place where I am zen with going wherever I am directed to go, more in tune with those subtle cues and gentle nudges that prompt us to follow our best path. Now in saying best path I don’t mean that path that is all beautifully cobblestoned, leading to a garden filled with blue bells, cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row. Yes you might have that experience a few times on your life’s journey, but more likely you will encounter a mixture including dirt paths, rocky paths, paths surrounded and blocked by vines, tree roots and spider webs looking nothing like those in the children’s tale of Charlottes Web.

I am slowly beginning to grasp the fact that life can hold many different paths that lead to where you want to go, it’s just that the paths on the way may not help you to believe it. And that is where trust in God, the Devine, the universe or whomever you place your faith in, comes in and is the most useful. Once upon a time (during my very difficult slog through 8 years of full and part time uni to get my nursing degree, not to mention countless hours at the hospital with my eldest in her early years), I thought that for the rest of my life I would remain a Registered Nurse dedicated only to the altruistic actions that was expected of me. Oh my have times changed. I now manage 60 clients, work long long difficult shifts and work a ridiculous amount of unpaid overtime because I am so passionate and dedicated to the human experience of my clients in that I MAKE time for each and every one of them despite the fact I’m not God and unable to do that. I realise now however that making a difference to people’s lives can be achieved in many different formats, and since I have such huge visions about the future of healthcare across all spectrums and the reality of where we are currently headed, I thought it best to expand my horizons.

So I am currently studying my Certificate III and IV in fitness which at the end of I will be a qualified (if not new) Personal Trainer. My studies are slow as jelly setting in the sun but I’m okay with that at the moment because my plate is full up. Next year I also would like to study integrative nutrition to further my skill and knowledge base in health. I certainly don’t fit the conventional mould of a Personal Trainer – with my health and fitness still a story in the making, it is my experience of losing 30+kgs, getting fit, fracturing my spine and becoming deconditioned, overcoming body issues, overcoming the mind balance issues, overcoming cancer, that will set me apart.

My belief of health is that it is NOT about
Weight and kilograms/pounds
Kilometres/miles and speed
The weights you can lift
The outside appearance
How many clean or paleo recipes you eat a week
Health is about feeling good both on the inside and out, how you get there is not the defining factor. Health is about being filled with vitality and energy, having a maintainable lifestyle that nourishes your body, mind and spirit. Health is what you say it is – as Emazon says…YOUR BODY YOUR RULES. PERIOD. You alone are the one that has to deal with the outcomes and live your life – nobody else can do that for you.

Watch her you tube video here…

So I have decided to keep doing what I’m doing at this point of time, and incorporate and build “My Infinite Balance” as my other path of passion in life. I won’t claim to know everything, but I have been there and experienced this ups and downs, and together with my future clients we will collaborate between us and your other health professionals to fulfil YOUR idea of true health.

What is YOUR definition of health?

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AHA MOMENTS SUCK

Have you ever felt like telling an aha moment to jump off a cliff or stick it? I have, and well I’m a bit cranky with said aha moment for being such a pain in the butt. I think I have had enough aha moments to fill a lifetime and frankly I’m over it! Yep I’m having a dummy spit because this whole self awareness gig just sucks lemons.

I’ve been struggling with an issue for a while now with no clue as to what brought it on. I was nice. I was fair. I really wanted our unit to really work. I gave chances. I’ve even forgiven. However it appears that the issue did not lie with this situation but simply the reverse…I was a wicked step daughter!!! Noooo waaayyy! It was in front of my face the whole time.

I don’t see this as airing dirty laundry, I see it as being open, honest and transparent. Facing that great big elephant sitting in the middle of the living room – we all see it but nobody wants to talk about it. If I can figure my tough shite out then maybe just one person out there will look at their own tough shite and say to themselves – hey, it’s not that bad….totally doable.

A freakin spiritual awakening. Words straight out of Brene Browns mouth about how her therapist described her breakdown. Now I’m not having a breakdown per se but I am having a break through, and in the absence of swear words ‘freakin spiritual awakening’ feels like the right way to describe this. I’ve had to be taken down kicking and screaming however because I was so invested in this situation having nothing to do with me because I couldn’t pinpoint the karmic reason for it.

Those who know me know that I have been to hell and back in our family over the past couple of years – but it was really brewing for a while before that – what do you expect really when you marry a man (amazing one at that) who is not only 19 years older than me, but had already been married, divorced and had a child many moons ago. Maybe I was naive about what we would face but at the time I was too smitten with my now husband to be concerned about it. Little did I know that the reactions we would face would close to destroy my very young daughter – although the hardships she faced early on and now have just created the amazing, inspiring and authentic teenager I have today. When I made a stand against what was going on however, little did I know it has been there all along to show me something I have not wanted to deal with for many years – my own step mother!!!

My mum and dad divorced when I was 11 and to say I have step parent issues is an understatement. I have deep seeded issues with my step father (that one is a book in the making so we will leave that one alone for the moment), but my dad has remarried many times over the past 20 years. Not the finest choices he had made but I was okay with it as long as it made hime happy – because I love my dad forever and a day. However then he married his current wife. All was good, in fact I quite liked her despite her alternative beliefs I didn’t understand at the time. Until the day she put both her feet in her mouth and couldn’t for the life of her manage to get them out. It all started over a phone conversation in which one simple sentence she didn’t think about changed the course of our relationship. It was at a time where I had called my dad to tell him the news that the doctors had found a growth in my brain and that they didn’t know quite what it was. To top it off they had said even if they wanted to biopsy it they wouldn’t because it was too deep and couldn’t risk it. So I as a single mother just beginning a relationship I was feeling very vulnerable and terrified to my boots about what this could mean for my then 5 year old daughter. Then she said IT. The sentence that I would forever judge her against. She said to me “that’s terrible, but you know that your thoughts create illness. What we think and say makes these things happen to us”. BAM! NOT what I needed to hear at that time. In hindsight I now understand what she was trying to say but even looking back her delivery just sucked!!!

So this is what the universe has been trying to put in front of me for all this time. It’s going to be tough but I know what I have to do. I have to write her a letter of apology for holding one sentence against her for so many years. It was unfair. It was naive. And I need to be the enlightened adult that I am and apologise. Despite the clear pain in the butt this aha moment has been, it has given me a kind of release that I’ve been on the very edge of – like paragliding unrestricted and able to navigate anywhere I want to go. I discussed this with my husband because I’m getting cool with vulnerability like that…and I think it has helped him to start seeing where his life lessons are and the mountains he has to climb to reach that point of self compassion and self awareness. So he is supporting me in this and my children will get to meet their other granny next year when we go to visit them interstate.

It would be easy to feel shame or other negative emotions working through this chaos we call life, but I don’t. I just feel grateful that I am alive when I am figuring all this stuff out. None of us know when our clock is up and I would just hate to leave this world with regrets or unfinished business.

What are you sweeping under the carpet because its too confronting??? Go on…get raw…you will be supported here x

FIND IT, LIVE IT, BE IT

Occasionally I go back and revisit the things that have strung forth from my mind previously. I’m really glad I came across this diamond. Have a read – see if you can come up with your own and discover your IT.

Tailored Living Project

I have decided to share with you all a little insight into what I am learning in my journey to a life of INFINITE BALANCE. Some I have thought of myself, some inspired by the “mentors” in my life (be them invited or accidental), and some from experience. I think that debriefing what I am learning by sharing can sometimes help with gaining some clarity but can also help other people through shared information. So feel free to comment, share and discuss.

 

So what is IT? “IT” is your vision…the vision you have for life or any other facet of your life. Kind of like a road map of where you are heading and what you want to pack in your bag – those special things that will make you who you are and carry you through your journey when your legs are tired.

So how do you find…

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CHASING FEAR

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Fear. If we are truly honest with ourselves we would openly admit that fear is the race car driver when it should actually be the exhaust smoke – a burnt up byproduct of our journey through life. When you strip back the layers of fluff that surround the deep inner motives that shape the decisions we make in life you will find fear. If you don’t find fear ever, then there is a chance that you are either totally and wholly perfect or you are just pulling your own leg and need to get real.

I have loads of fears and many of them quite common in the general population, some specific to women and mothers. Here they are, careful this could be dangerous. I am fearful of spiders, bugs and crunchy insects. I am fearful of not being the best mother, friend or partner that I should be. I am fearful of being rejected, ridiculed and dismissed by the people that matter to me, or anyone for that matter. I am fearful of not being enough both personally and professionally. I am fearful of deep water, flying and public speaking.

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Now if you look at all the decisions we make on a regular basis you can see how these fears can impact on the conclusions we come to and the steps we take. Just recently we made the final decision that we would be taking our two daughters out of private school and putting them into a very good state school. Don’t get me wrong I am happy with this decision however at the same time I found myself questioning myself and how this reflected on me as a mother, whether I would lose some of the friendships I have made, not being embraced by the new people I would meet, and how this was going to impact my children. I understand when I look at this that some of this apprehension comes from my deeply ingrained and long history of self worth issues.

It is similar to what I feel like if I have to public speak. I feel like everyone is thinking “who the jelly is she? Who does she think she is – she isn’t the leading expert so what would she know”. I recognise however that this stems from this place of low self worth. So what did I do about it? I followed my “2013 YEAR OF AWESOME” instincts and decided to leap straight into this fear and get the jelly over it. A couple of months ago I accepted a backfill position as a Learning and Development Officer delivering education within the company I work for. It does prove for interesting conversation however when I am discussing with the participants about Personal Safety and fears – none of them believe me when I say public speaking is one of my biggest fears. I guess this means I must be building my own bridge step by step and gleefully (okay glee is a string word) getting over it. Yay me!

Miss Rebel Writer also asked me recently why I hadn’t applied to talk at TEDx NOOSA? Apparently my 13 year old believes in me more than I do! Six months ago I probably would have laughed hysterically and never gave it another thought, however now I only just laughed hysterically before actually giving it some serious thought. The theme for 2014 is ‘space’ taken either literally or figuratively. So far what I have come up with is the idea of creative space and creative license. My idea I think is worth spreading, and the idea I would like to share is that I believe that we should in all areas create space that allows for creative thought and action. For example at school we should be allocating unscheduled and unplanned time for creative thought and the time and space to do so, instead of trying to constantly fit our children into boxes. This allows them time to become connected with thought and be able to recognise their own thought patterns. In university, I believe that each bachelo/degree etc, should have at least one subject that allows for free thought and innovation – after all it is a falicy that uni students are brain dead from hours of study and little sleep (most of the time), instead this is the time when their minds are fresh, energised, and engaged in what they are doing. In our workplaces there should be allocated paid time for innovative thinking and brainstorming discussions that are also unplanned to allow the people in the battleground of their respective fields to move it forward. It is difficult for them to have these epiphanies during their working hours due to increased workloads, and by the time they get home many want to leave work behind to manage that dynamic balance in their lives. Releasing this potential in people releases the universal potential for great ideas, great change, great futures. What are our thoughts on these things?

My next leap is to face my fear of deep water. I’m facing this via baby steps next month with Melinda from MAB Personal Training as we have a group of us kayak from Golden Beach on the Sunshine Coast, over to Bribie Island and back. I still have plenty of fears. Some that relate to the lack of support I receive from family and friends regarding this blog – something i am passionate about of course. But all will be addressed as they arise, because finally I see that in fact I AM ENOUGH! My self worth does not depend on whether those closest to me read, or share my blog articles, nor is it dependant on whether material that is mine is acknowledged when used (although I do understand the copyright implications for the future). It is totally dependant on me. Can you tell I’ve been reading a significant amount of Brene Browns book Daring Greatly?

So tell me, what fears are you chasing? Or are you still hiding them under your bed….

Professional Social Media Building

Very interesting article worth a look and some thoughtful consideration. Love learning from people that have experience, makes it all far easier for me. Go have a look…the better man is worth following!

The Better Man Project ™

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A Little About Me

 “Draw a line. Live above it.”- Unknown

I live to inspire. My true passion is to help people lead powerful and bold lives and to express themselves in the most unique ways possible. And what better way to do that than support them in building their personal brands to capture the attention of the masses. So that is exactly what I do – I create focused, engaged, and kick-ass communities on social media.

After partnering with Nick Venezia, a social media expert who has been widely recognized by the social media community, I began creating on my own brand, The Better Man Project and in three months I grew my Twitter account from 1,500 unfocused followers to over 13,500 focused and engaged users. Today, The Better Man Project has a combined following across all networks of  55,000 and continues to grow. (Instagram: 22k, WordPress: 17k Twitter:13.5k…

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BREAK OUT THE UNIVERSAL MINIONS

I’ve watched Dispicable Me, in fact more than a few times just to try and grasp the fascination people have with these cute little yellow people. I’ve never really understood it, yet it appears there are a million of men, … Continue reading

SOLDIERS OF GOLD

Although I do not support war, I do humbly remember those who gave their lives in the pursuit of freedom. God rest their souls. Poppy. Steve. We will remember you.

Tailored Living Project

This is the poem I wrote in remembrance of the brave men in history. This is the first time I have shared this publicly so if you wish to share it please identify the source. To poppy and his forefathers…

“SOLDIERS OF GOLD”

Written by Tammy Pilton 25/04/05

The news spread like fire to every city and town,

That a battle was coming, so all gather round.

Come join the forces, as Australians you must,

Even those who have fear in God you must trust.

Mothers don’t fear and fathers have pride,

For these Soldiers Of Gold bravely march side by side.

 

For those who came willing excitement was strong,

For those who were scared, the journey too long.

As the shoreline drew close, their fate was sealed,

They had come the wrong way! Was the horror revealed.

As they row in closer, what is it they see?

But the…

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CLOUDY, WITH A CHANCE OF PROFANITY

Hi. My name is Sunny and I’m a happyaholic. It’s been weeks since I have felt truly and exquisitely happy. I’m not liking this experience. Being on the wagon for me is excruciating. It hurts, it pains, it blows. However … Continue reading

TO THE MAN IN THE ARENA

Tailored Living Project

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TO THE MAN IN THE ARENA

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat

What a powerful statement…

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The UNSHARE button: Can we all just step away from the propaganda?

To share or to unshare….

Fabulous post! And quite true….

Progressive Culture | Scholars & Rogues

Our social media activities would benefit from a dose of critical thinking.

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on. – Terry Pratchett

I had an exchange with my sister earlier about something she had shared on Facebook. If you haven’t seen it, it’s the one alleging that 11 US states now have “More People on Welfare than they do Employed.” Hint number one: cluelessness regarding the mysteries of punctuation. And no, I won’t link to it.

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