SHOESLACES & SUCCESS

When you are a kid, say around five or six years old, success is pretty simple and uncomplicated at the heart of it. Success at five years old is as simple as FINALLY being able to tie your shoe laces. You remember that don’t you? That first time squealing because you got your fingers stuck in double knot you magically tied around them, now wondering why your fingers are turning purple and they feel cold and foreign at their tips. At times during the learning process getting confused as to wear the bunny goes and why you should be tying knots in a poor bunnys ears in the first place. For a long while you would throw yourself to the floor or stomp your feet yelling that you’ll ‘NEVER BE ABLE TO DO IT!!!’ Then that magical day comes and finally the bunny goes where it’s suppose to with no injury to anyone, leaving you jumping and giggling and squealing with unhindered glee. The definition of success really begins to change after that though and continues to change throughout each stage of your life.

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When you are a teenager success really is quite variable dependant on what drives you or what your conditioning is. For some (me when I was a teenager), success is clearly dependant on achievements at school. The depth of success hinged on whether you aced your exams, got excellent marks, and whether you favourite teacher and parents recognised your potential for great things as an outcome of being an exceptional academic performer. This was also applicable to the success desired in those that were athletic and their sporting achievements. For other teenagers success was highly dependant on friendships and relationships in school, sometimes particularly on their popularity ranking. Their desire for public and societal acceptance was first and foremost the most important aspect for feeling successful. It was easy at this time of life to judge the other for their personal success definition but in reality it is a confusing and ahem….interesting time in each of our lives – no right, no wrong, just is. Just when we figure out what we are sure success is we grow up and for some become parents, and although some still have strong definitions on the meaning of success, parenthood often flips everything on its head.

For many, becoming a parent is a great success in itself however for just as many we begin to think both our success and sanity in those first months! When the chaos and change settle into our new norm however our definition of success begins to shift toward this new chapter. Now the mere hint of a baby who feeds well, sleeps, and is healthy is our new success. The first crawl, walk and word fills our conversations. When they grow it is their ability to be resilient, independent and their ability to stick it to the man and create their life their own way – hindered not by unfair societal confines or limitations. (Okay that last bit applies to my experiences as a mother of a strong child but that’s for another time). It is however important to celebrate also our successes in our careers too.

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Last night I attended a beautiful awards night for the company I work for – my ‘day job’ and one that I’m overwhelmingly passionate about. It’s an exclusive night only open to award winners in 6 divisions, 20 year employees, general managers, and executives. We get a beautifully catered dinner, a band, accommodation in a five star hotel, and a buffet breakfast that is more like a restaurant (first time I’ve ever had a Japanese Chef cook me my own gourmet omelette in front of me). I got the priveledge of going as an award recipient of an Innovation Award for Safe Work. The reason I received this was for the Quit Program I implemented across the company throughout Queensland with Q-Healths Quit Program. Many people have now either quit smoking or are on their way with a new determination and it costs them nothing. The way I see it, healthy health care workers equal a healthy health care system. The award now gives me $1,500 – to implement a new program which I have already thought out and will get moving on soon. I digress. So this award really is one of the highlights in my 13 year long health career journey and it gives me a feeling of success at this time in my life. However when I returned to my sunny Sunshine Coast it dawned on me that success is transient in nature.

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As I walked along the waters edge with my family breathing in the salt water, sun dancing on the water like diamonds, I realised the fact that I am just as successful because of this moment, the love that surrounds me, the days that stretch before me.

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How do you define success?

THE GIVER

What a fascinating tale, although in saying that there are some very distinct concept that mimic realities to our projected future should the keepers of this earths Matrix get their way.

The belief held by the elders in this movie is scarily similar to the growing beliefs held by governments all over the world. The leading elder said “When people have the freedom to choose they choose wrong”, which is a common thread in many of the decisions our governments make for us that are a little left of democratic in nature. My husband and I talked about this in the car on the way home from the cinema and we both believe that Australia is becoming a police state. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in guidelines, but I don’t believe in forcing people to align to a central belief ‘for the greater good’ when it impacts their own wellbeing and core self.

“No losers, and no winners……….so there would be no conflict between us”. This one of the quotes from the movies and makes me ponder, what if we didn’t have any winners or losers? What would life be like? I guess in a sense there would be less conflict as people lose the need for ‘keeping up with e Joneses’ or being the best at anything. It does pose the question however about whether we would be as content with no healthy competition either.

It would be a beautiful world if we could lose the unhealthy competition though – you know, the I’m a better spouse, business, parent, friend, advocate. It’s that competition that I feel has had the greatest impact on my life and the lives of so many others. An example of this is me creating my health coaching business. Many of you know that I’m a nurse, studying to get my Personal Trainer qualifications, and then integrative nutrition quals, and am really passionate about a lot of areas in health, but my most passionate area is in chronic disease prevention, and chronic disease recovery. I really want to show and guide other people to take control of their wellbeing and their lives and reassure them that you don’t have to own and be a disease but can overcome it or take power from where you are at the time. However for a long time I’ve been looking at and building my business in a templates way, by looking at how others are structured, purely out of fear of not being good enough when in reality my business is nothing like the others and I need to embrace the difference in it. And that I am both in business and in self – I have a lot to offer the world and am worthy regardless.

On another note there was another quote from the movie that really resonated for many reasons “Don’t accept something as the truth just because its from someone you respect”. As a child who grew up in a time where some still thought children should be seen and not heard and family issues were not discussed outside the home, I never questioned what I was told and accepted everything as truth. What folly that was as when i needed to be heard the most at 4, 13, and 18 when I was sexually abused, I didn’t have a voice and was just a moment away from taking my own life. But I knew nothing different until I was strong enough emotionally to leave such situations behind and step into a better place, at which time I stood up and claimed some of my life back.

I no longer blindly believe as truth that which someone I may or may not respect as truth, because let’s face it – a truth to one may be shaped and moulded by that persons perspectives and experiences. I liken it to someone looking at different sides of a book. One is looking at the front of the book and can only see the title, author, cover picture, and a few other details, but is unlikely to find any clear information as to the storyline. The other is looking at the back of the book and can see an overview of the contents of the book and a few other things. Clearly it’s the same book, but each person takes something else away from its face value. The valuable lesson I have taken from this experience in life is to raise my daughters to be fearless speakers of their own truth and to live what they believe without taking on some of societies unwarranted restrictions. I want them to be able to sit with information or ideas and really feel if they fit them or if its purely someone else’s.

I think history shows significant examples of when societal compliance has impacted the world in a detrimental way even if I do believe everything is for a reason. I for one though do not want to be just a pawn in the matrix game of chess. I’m more of a divergent – but that’s another post….

Ps….you will have to go see “The Giver” or wait til it comes out on DVD to see the awesome ending – I don’t do spoils lol.

ONCE UPON A VERY SPECIFIC TIME

Once upon a very specific time there lived a very together girl who lived in a well organised castle in an orderly kingdom. Life was filled with blissful harmony for the simple reason that schedules were well constructed and everything and everyone had a place and a purpose. Every aspect of life in this kingdom was dependable, in a predictable way and the girl felt this was very very good.

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As with so many other fairy tales this perfect harmony was not to last for then we would not have what some call a storyline. The girl knew this and continued trying to maintain this sense of order and control until that day when the unthinkable happened. Da-da-daaaaaaa!!! CHAOS!!!!

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CHAOS!!! Yes. This little girl grew up, became the Queen of her castle, and had children….need we say anymore? Well yes, maybe we should see how this very together girl who lived in a well organised castle in an orderly kingdom turned into the frazzle-haired nervous wreck of a mother of two young cyclonic daughters, who is has forgotten what scheduling looks like never mind the disordered, disorganised, disastrous kingdom she calls home.

From the outside her household looks like it is run like a well oiled machine but on the inside it feels like an over pressurised bottle ready to shatter and explode. Before children it is easy to schedule oneself, keep the clean laundry away from the dirty laundry, and it is certainly easier keeping control of most occurrences in ones life. However when one has children there is a sudden onslaught of unexpected dribble, boogers, and vomit on ones clothes requiring last minute wardrobe changes. There are freak rogue tantrums that can wake Sleeping Beauty from her everlasting slumber, and one is quite inept to transport these tantrums in any safe manner to any place but a time out cushion. There are mixed laundry, last minute projects, surprise play dates, missing homework and crazy hormones to deal with…all before breakfast and all before one attempts to gather oneself for the professional career one may have carved out for oneself. Husband? One is certain at this point that the future may not hold any alone time with the King at this point.

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Well the Queen has reached her OCD peak and its time to swing into a little more balance and inject a little more refinement to her status quo by ejecting that which seeks to clutter and clang and cause catastrophe and confusion in the castle (try saying that ten times!). That means out with the old habits, thoughts and stuff, to create space for a new path.

So if you haven’t guessed by now yes I am that girl, and although I’m not naive to think I can control my world entirely, I can restore a bit of workable order and clarity in my life. I used to do a big declutter every three months at the change of season, and to be honest it wasn’t even big because I’m a bit ruthless in this department – evident by my I famous comments to my husband and children “if in doubt, throw it out” “if you haven’t see it in a year it’s clearly not needed” “if you hoard all this unused stuff you have no room for new adventures in life”. This past year however I have been terribly busy, over scheduled, and dropped all my juggling balls. So Captain Ruthless is on the comeback!!!

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Let me outline for you the plan…

1. I want to make things simple and not get stuck on stuff , so I’ve decided to try this 30 day challenge….

500 THINGS IN 30 DAYS

The Minimalists came up with this challenge to help declutter your environment, by getting rid of 500 things in 30 days – check out the challenge ( http://www.theminimalists.com/game/ ). You get rid of 1 thing in day 1, 2 things on day 2, and so forth. If you are worried you will end up sleeping in a tent by day 15 don’t worry – the tent would have disappeared by day 10 and besides stars are pretty when you are trying to sleep! Joking. If I get to a point where I have decluttered everything I can then I will move to decluttering other stuff like habits, thoughts, etc.

2. So to simplify and declutter my life further I need to get a hold of my schedule so I am planning to
> Put up a very large monthly scheduler where the rest of the family can also put their stuff so we all are clear on who needs to be where at all times
> I have already reduced my working days so I can focus on study on Mondays, kids and friends on Fridays, and family/house/cooking on weekends. It’s working well.

3. So to simplify and declutter our finances I am planning on
> Laying out our financial position on paper so we are all clear on where we are
> Searching for more cost effective solutions to our needs and making clear choices on where we spend our money
> Booking in to plan our personal and business financial future and change our financial mindset with Chris Childs team at Think Money on the Sunshine Coast – better yet they offer a free wealth coaching session.

So who is up for any of these challenges? Feel free to share pictures, blog posts, or tips with us all here or on my facebook page.

IT’S A QUESTION OF MATHS

Am I stuck in protect mode? Probably. Protecting AGAINST what I don’t want instead of protecting what I DO want. I feel like a suited up gladiator ready to strike – until now. Now I get what’s been going on in my head I can start to pull apart and create my own picture. When we let (it) go of the need to fix and embrace the idea of create….we lose the struggle component.

I need to move away from the stressaholic experience. I work I work I work, I parent I parent I parent. Instead however I now want to experience my trade, my passion. Now I want to experience my parenting moments. Now I want to experience my relationships, choices and life in all it’s glorious complexities. Treat life like a true lifestyle change…don’t remove anything….just keep adding in what you want, add in so much good that there is no room left for anything else.

Firstly I need to drop the fear of retribution from the medical community, not only for myself but for what I have to offer the world of myself. For what I have to teach my daughters about taking chances and making their passions a reality. If I cannot live my passion of wholistic healthcare for all in my nursing role then why should I spend the next 40 years being miserable? There is absolutely no need to become a martyr for my trade, there are plenty out there that relish that mindset and that’s okay – for them not me. Why wouldnt I create what I want instead? After all I am a creative being and know that creativity is the seed of great innovation and change. If I am to start living the life I want and envisage then I need to be mindful that I don’t get stuck by a title. Like Juliet says about her Romeo – what’s in a name? I need to begin living my life like it is one big love story with myself.

Do you process stuff quickly or a you a slow metaboliser before you produce a response or an action? I feel like the latter in this instance but I can see that it’s all about perfect timing. So I’m going to add in stuff…

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- nourishing actions with nutrition
– activity I enjoy and that makes me happy
– thoughts that are real not imagined, uplifting thoughts
– time with people who I am most inspired by
– work that is aligned with my values

What could you ADD to your life to make you feel awesome…

AHA MOMENTS SUCK

balancedwesomeness:

Well I did it. We went on holidays and spent time with my Dad and his wife, and we all bonded and got to know each other. My children were smitten with their gran and pop and some beautiful memories were made and will continue to be made – and I’ve given p my horrid step-daughter ways.

What have you gotten raw and real with recently.

Originally posted on My Infinite Balance:

Have you ever felt like telling an aha moment to jump off a cliff or stick it? I have, and well I’m a bit cranky with said aha moment for being such a pain in the butt. I think I have had enough aha moments to fill a lifetime and frankly I’m over it! Yep I’m having a dummy spit because this whole self awareness gig just sucks lemons.

I’ve been struggling with an issue for a while now with no clue as to what brought it on. I was nice. I was fair. I really wanted our unit to really work. I gave chances. I’ve even forgiven. However it appears that the issue did not lie with this situation but simply the reverse…I was a wicked step daughter!!! Noooo waaayyy! It was in front of my face the whole time.

I don’t see this as airing dirty laundry, I…

View original 906 more words

THE INTRICACIES OF LIFE

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Their hearts scream for mercy as it gets torn and ripped, from the tough decisions they have had to make as parents. They never understood why life’s intricacies were created to be beautiful at one point and cruel at another. It was as if at this crossroad, the decision they made was going to be the catalyst for everything that would follow. The decision had to be made though. If it was left, there would always be questions, a false hope for something that in 10 years had never come to pass and was likely not to ever come to pass. If they decided for it, there would be endless moments filled with pain, unacceptance, and degradation of others worth, not to mention the gradual dessimation of the life they were happy in. So the only decision that fit was one that he alone had to make, she couldn’t be within this part of his journey, only able to sit with him in those difficult moments.

Now that the decision had been made, they had to move forward without those few missing pieces they were likely never to recover. The last few years had aged them, carving lines in their faces that held the sorrows and the pain, but also the tremendous growth they had experienced during those countless tears. These years had brought them to the brink of goodbye only to hold them at that snapping point long enough to allow them to snap back together. This last time however had actually pulled to hard and the forces that held them together had worn through, leaving only a few bare threads that kept them connected. Those threads would be enough for now, but it was necessary to begin weaving something stronger for the future that would be unwavered by external forces.

They had always been happy, always been the family that people looked at and thought was unbreakable. But no one gave thought to the ties from within that might seek to sever their joy. Not everyone will see the necessity for this decision he had made, but that was unimportant because he too was deserving of happiness and joy in his life. Sometimes you have to stand up and claim what’s yours because life isn’t a dress rehearsal.

Little did they know how important it was to protect their little unit and the love that was in it. Little did they know that they would need to draw on each others strengths in the face of mortality. The years of silence and trying to never rock the boat had taken its toll on his wellbeing. A life time of feeling like he wasn’t enough had now decimated the very thing that was central to life in his core. It was now that they needed to focus on their inner circle. It was now that she would need to take up the matriarchal role that will surround and encompass him in love, security and surety that he wouldn’t be alone no matter what the final outcome would be. They cross fingers, pray, and meditate for an outcome that will see them grow old together like they had promised each other. All she knew is that she wasn’t ready to be without him, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye, and they wouldn’t without a fight.

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AWAKE

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I had an extraordinary dream a little while ago, where people are just waking up. Waking from vegetative states, waking up from unawareness, waking up from disability. They have full bodily function and movement, a new peace expression in their faces. The feeling of excitement, wonder, and awe was overwhelming – even when I physically woke up and sat thinking about this dream I had just experienced. It was profound.

I believe that in life there are seasons and in that I believe that the season of knowing is perfectly timed, after all you don’t know what you don’t know until you know….you know? I do also believe that at this time in the world there is a universal shift in individuals awareness and consciousness on a very deep level.

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I look back at the last five years and it blows me away how far I have come within myself, and I feel that I have grown emotionally at a rate that could give you whiplash. Prior to this I was so stuck on being right all the time because I just could not grasp that there was no right or wrong, just different. It took a long time to understand that there are many different realities for each person and they should be respected not ripped apart because they aren’t what we perceive as our truth. I think this is a difficult concept for many people to grasp because we have lived for so long in a society who thrives on making one side right and one side wrong. Our worthiness for sometime has been linked by marketing and old thought patterns to how we look, what we wear, who we are friends with, who we are married to, how old we are, what job we have, where we live, what we believe, BLAH BLAH BLAH…………. It’s as if we have continued to give away our power like a mandatory tax.

I don’t think that way any more. There is a quote that now resonates with me deeply and I’m not sure who said it originally but it’s epic.

“DIFFERENT ISNT WRONG – ITS JUST DIFFERENT”

We are constantly evolving beings that are meant to change and grow. For me, being surrounded by people and influences that are aligned with that has really helped me with moving forward in life, and although it can get a bit hairy scary at times, it excites me to see what life holds ahead.

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What are your growth influencers? Is it a person, book, ???

Everybody Be AWESOME!